I am constantly turning ideas over and over in my mind

Bloody obsessive state. grrrr
I have checked out some of the artists Robert has suggested. Ron Athey Gifts of the Spirit on you tube
and  Gina talked about Jo Spence 
 I remembered  Marina Abramovic advice to the artist
so. the latest thoughts.

Under the skin. 17/01/2014

Personal to the general

Latest thoughts

·         Set up easel with large board and paper at one end of room

·         The  Audience sit either side of long catwalk

·         Perhaps a frame around the easel area so the performance is within a pros arch.

·         With other frames at intervals along the catwalk.

·         Lighting is by lamps.

·         It has the atmosphere of a Vermeer or Rembrandt.

·         Perhaps the paper is the window and I am the figure that appears in my paintings.

·         The light is off I talk in the dark.

The drawing begins,

·         Empty paper, using charcoal outline of a figure, child like, a face.

·         Wiped away,

·         Charcoal creates shadows over the page, large areas of dark and light that is rubbed in with a cloth, perhaps a diaper.

·         Rubbing a form emerges, is rubbed away, different figure shapes are tried, responding to my mood and the room sounds.

Now I need to look at outside influences, fashion, independence, society’s expectations.

·         Do I use props, slides, film, sounds?

·         The drawing responds.

·         I explore facets of identity using make up and costume.

I am ageing. At some point I depict pregnancy, hope, loss,

More drawing.

Now I am pregnant again. The one is two, independence has a constraint.

·         I think I shall use balls of string, perhaps dyed as the children.

·         One can fit in the hand

·         Two needs two hands, how do I now draw? I have to support them, leave them etc.

·         Three is difficult.

The drawing and the manipulation continue. Now the drawing becomes a woman.

·         The balls become entangled.  At some point I use a woven basket to carry them all in. as the individuals become a unit.

·         Now the self restraints start to be a web.

·         I use the strings which I attach to the frames to create actual barriers that I have to move to get to the drawing. (I may construct the frames at this point using gazebo poles.

·         When I have made a doorway I may explore strings that are more conceptual, made of light and sounds to make continued barriers.

How do I show my perceptions of society’s expectations of women and mothers? Which barriers are real and which self imposed. Film, slides, make up, costumes?

·         At some point I remove the string, only the conceptual string remain.

·         I explore a kind of freedom; I explore costumes and identity again.

·         The drawing comes to some sort of conclusion but remains unfinished. Perhaps I wipe it all away so none remains; perhaps I just rub out some areas.